The delivery truck pulled into the driveway. On the side of the truck was the name RoboTech Inc.
“Mervin, your order is here”, said Lucille.
“Yay!” Mervin yelled as pulled himself off the couch and onto his chair. He wheeled himself over to the door.
The delivery driver lowered the crate down onto the patio. The side of the crate said, RoboTech Walkman 2000.
“This is the newest model! You are the first customer. My name is Ted and I’ll be helping you get started”, the man said as he opened the crate.
The crate opened and the suit shone bright in the sun.
“Well, Mervin, would you like to try it?”
Mervin looked towards his mom. She nodded and he rolled up to the suit.
The bionic legs would finally allow him to walk.
He climbed into the slanted seat and Ted directed his attention to a panel on the robot.
“This here is the activate button. Once you are safely seated press this button and the suit will shut the harnesses. I’ll demonstrate. Notice that the suit won’t close on you if you aren’t seated safely.”
Ted pressed the activate button on the panel and the robot suit lit up. The braces closed around Mervin and the suit shifted forward into an upright position.
Mervin put his hand on the panel and leaned forward slightly. The robot walked forward. He leaned back slightly and the machine walked backward. Mervins face lit up.
“Mervin!” his mom yelled, “You’re walking!”
Mervin marveled. He was delighted. Just then, a light on the panel lit up briefly.
“Can I take it to the park?”, Mervin said as he looked to his mother and his mother looked to Ted.
“Of course! It can run for a few hours. If it runs out of power there are buttons to call for help. The nerds in the lab tested it it extensively. We can go over the payment details now if you like while Mervin takes it for a spin.”
“Well, the park is nearby. Be back in ten minutes, honey. I’m sure Ted will guide us through the rest of the tour.”
Mervin celebrated and fist pumped the air. A light on the panel lit up.
He started walking towards the park testing the agility it gave him.
“What a marvelous invention.” he thought.
As he approached the park a few sidewalks and paths stood before him.
In the distance a dog was barking.
“I’ll go to the dog park.” he thought.
As he turned on the side walk he noticed a pile of processed dog food on the ground in front of him.
“No!” He screamed as his new suit stepped into it. The light on the panel lit up.
“Ah shit!” he said out loud. “Literally shit,” he thought. The light on the panel lit up.
He went to grassy area and scrapped his feet and then headed to the dog park.
“Mervin!”, Vikael waved. His dog Old Yeller, happy to see him, jumped up on Mervin and the suit, scrapping the panel. A light on the panel lit up. Mervin, climbed out of the suit and onto the bench.
“Hi boy!” Mervin greeted the dog.
“This is amazing!” Vikael said looking over the suit.
“Can you run with it? Can it jump? Can I try it?”
“Maybe another time I have to get back home.”
“OK. Call me later.”
Mervin climbed back into the suit. This time the light on the suit that appeared randomly was now stuck on.
Mervin pressed the activate button. This time the suit moved stiffly. The braces activated but closed tightly around him and it lurched forward. This time in an uncomfortable fashion. It swerved around in a circle and then then stopped and then started walked automatically across the dog park.
“What’s going on?” Mervin thought.
The dogs that were running around and playing all turned and started to bark at Mervin.
“Where are you going?” Vikael yelled.
“I don’t know” Mervin replied pulling at the braces. “It’s not responding-”
“Detected!” the robot suit panel said and started walking again.
“It can talk?” Mervin thought.
The suit walked right up to a pile of processed dog food and stepped into it.
Shit splattered across the ground.
“No! Stop! No!” Mervin yelled.
Vikael, looked on laughing but slightly confused, “What are you doing? Try to avoid those!”
“I can’t stop it!” Mervin said as he pressed the buttons on the panel.
“Test 1 complete!” the suit said.
In slight horror, Mervin, Vikael and the dogs watched as Mervin and his robot legs stepped in pile after pile of dog waste spread across the dog park.
Ted and Lucille and some of the neighbors who had heard the commotion came running up to the park.
“For gods sake! Make it stop!” Lucille yelled.
Ted had already pulled out a remote and was pressing the buttons frantically.
Finally, after stepping in the last pile of shit, the robot exclaimed, “Test Mode Complete!” and the braces opened and Mervin was flung forward out of the suit onto the ground exhausted.
Lucille ran over and pulled him upright.
“What the fuck?!?” Lucille yelled as she turned to Ted.
“I’m sorry maim. That was one of our interest detector features. The test mode must have been activated on accident.”
“I didn’t order my son an interest detector you fuck! I ordered him legs to walk.”
“Of course, you see, it wasn’t supposed to be activated yet. We didn’t want to just make money from the sale of the product but we wanted to make money from your personal details. But we’ll take this out because if we don’t we’re pieces of shit.”
Lucille gathered Mervin up while Vikael returned his chair and brought him home.
Later that night Mervin heard an unusual sound.
His phone dinged and then dinged again, and then dinged some more.
His mother nearby she walked to the door.
“What is it son, what can it be?”
“I have multiple messages, a total of three”
He opened his phone and read them aloud.
“Step in doggy waste? Make yourself proud”
“Scooper 2000 is a hit with the crowd”
The ads were specific to the events of the day
And also specific with words they would say
Who gave you the right to invade a home?
Whether mental, emotional or guarded by gnome?
He looked at his watch, the health meter beeped
It’s infrared scanner and magnetic waves peeped
Despite the options they claimed to provide
Privacy they invaded, it was clear they had lied
Over the next few days ad after ad appeared on Mervins phone
The content on FoolsBook, SueTube and Flitter were all targeted.
“You like shit? OK Here’s more shit!”
Mervin yelled and threw his phone at the robot legs sitting across the room.
“You were supposed to help improve my life!”
Lucille, who had heard the noise exclaimed, “This ends now.”
“Hello, this is Ted!”, Ted said.
“This is Lucille, We bought your fucking product a few weeks ago. What’s going on? Why the fuck are we getting targeted ads?!?”
“Well, actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. Today’s my last day so I’ll be candid. Not only did we steal your data and invade your privacy, we then sold it to everyone who wanted it. There’s over hundred companies. We did it because we’re pieces of shit.”
“How do we turn it off?”
“Well, the company can take the privacy invading device out of it’s products or stop selling your personal data from now on but the other data is out of our hands. You would need some legislation to have those companies remove that data and stop collecting it. Even though our company is run by psychopaths, and I’m one of them, I’ve felt pretty bad the last few days. Not because I care about you or your son but because I tested the suit myself while I was on the phone and now I’m also getting spammed and targeted advertising. I didn’t really care it until it happened to me.”
“And I overheard one of the engineers say that it will be soon that it will be possible to add data logging to more products. It will only get worse if we do nothing.”
“So you need to have legislation to make it illegal to maintain and sell products for anything other than their original single purpose. To prevent a device that is meant for one thing be used for another thing. If you sell a hammer it can only be sold as a hammer and not a hammer with a data logger. If you sell a pencil, it can only be sold as a pencil and not a pencil and a data logger. Or outright ban all data logging and home invading products and services. All of it is the digital equivalent of breaking and entering into someone’s home. It’s merely time shifting. And we’re not the only entities that do this. In your devices view /Users/user/Library/Biome. or HomeKit, or IntelligencePlatform”
“What’s that? What are they storing there? ”
“I truly apologize for this. If we don’t stop this, the world will turn to shit.”
“Well, I didn’t expect that. Glad you are coming to your senses.” Lucille said. “This is going to end now”
